QT

누가복음 9장 1~17
9:1 예수께서 열 두 제자를 불러 모으사 모든 귀신을 제어하며 병을 고치는 능력과 권세를 주시고
9:2 하나님의 나라를 전파하며 앓는 자를 고치게 하려고 내어 보내시며
9:3 이르시되 여행을 위하여 아무 것도 가지지 말라 지팡이나 주머니나 양식이나 돈이나 두 벌 옷을 가지지 말며
9:4 어느 집에 들어가든지 거기서 유하다가 거기서 떠나라
9:5 누구든지 너희를 영접지 아니하거든 그 성에서 떠날 때에 너희 발에서 먼지를 떨어 버려 저희에게 증거를 삼으라 하시니
9:6 제자들이 나가 각 촌에 두루 행하여 처처에 복음을 전하며 병을 고치더라
9:7 분봉왕 헤롯이 이 모든 일을 듣고 심히 당황하여 하니 이는 혹은 요한이 죽은 자 가운데서 살아났다고도 하며
9:8 혹은 엘리야가 나타났다고도 하며 혹은 옛 선지자 하나가 다시 살아났다고도 함이라
9:9 헤롯이 가로되 요한은 내가 목을 베었거늘 이제 이런 일이 들리니 이 사람이 누군고 하며 저를 보고자 하더라
9:10 사도들이 돌아와 자기들의 모든 행한 것을 예수께 고한대 데리시고 따로 벳새다라는 고을로 떠나 가셨으나
9:11 무리가 알고 따라왔거늘 예수께서 저희를 영접하사 하나님 나라의 일을 이야기하시며 병 고칠 자들은 고치시더라
9:12 날이 저물어가매 열 두 사도가 나아와 여짜오되 무리를 보내어 두루 마을과 촌으로 가서 유하며 먹을 것을 얻게 하소서 우리 있는 여기가 빈 들이니이다
9:13 예수께서 이르시되 너희가 먹을 것을 주어라 하시니 여짜오되 우리에게 떡 다섯개와 물고기 두 마리 밖에 없으니 이 모든 사람을 위하여 먹을 것을 사지 아니하고는 할 수 없삽나이다 하였으니
9:14 이는 남자가 한 오천명 됨이러라 제자들에게 이르시되 떼를 지어 한 오십명씩 앉히라 하시니
9:15 제자들이 이렇게 하여 다 앉힌 후
9:16 예수께서 떡 다섯 개와 물고기 두 마리를 가지사 하늘을 우러러 축사하시고 떼어 제자들에게 주어 무리 앞에 놓게 하시니
9:17 먹고 다 배불렀더라 그 남은 조각 열 두 바구니를 거두니라

 


본문에는 예수님이 가르쳐주신 전도자의 삶, 그리고 오병이어의 기사가 나옵니다. 서로 다른 주제가 하루의 본문 안에 있어 묵상하기가 어렵습니다. 우선 전도자의 삶에 대해서 생각해보았습니다. 「여행을 위하여 아무 것도 가지지 말라 지팡이나 주머니나 양식이나 돈이나 두 벌 옷을 가지지 말며 어느 집에 들어가든지 거기서 유하다가 거기서 떠나라 누구든지 너희를 영접지 아니하거든 그 성에서 떠날 때에 너희 발에서 먼지를 떨어 버려 저희에게 증거를 삼으라 하시니 3‐5」 예수님의 선교재정관은 현지 조달입니다. 준비하고 떠나든 현지에서 조달하든 원천적인 공급책은 하나님이시기 때문입니다. 전도자가 하나님의 일을 할 수 있는 자신감이라는 것은 여기에 있을 것입니다. 사람의 일은 사람이 준비해야 하고 하나님의 일은 하나님이 준비하십니다. 그 안에서 사람이 하나님의 일에 쓰임을 받는 것입니다.

 

사람과 재정은 선교의 주체가 아닙니다. 선교의 주체는 하나님이시고 사람과 재정은 하나님이 쓰시는 도구입니다. 그래서 하나님의 일을 하는 사람은 하나님의 준비된 것 위에 자기 삶을 살기 때문에 불안할 이유가 없습니다. 믿음 때문에 불안한 것은 모순입니다. 그것은 믿음이 아닐 것입니다. 「지팡이나 주머니나 양식이나 돈이나 두 벌 옷을 가지지 말라」 고 하신 것은 지팡이에 의지하지 말고 지갑에 의지하지 말고 먹을 앙식에 의지하지 말고 돈에 의지하지 말고 조금 비축한 생활의 여유에 의지하지 말라는 것입니다. 하나님을 믿는다는 것은 하나님이 아닌 것을 믿지 않는다는 말입니다.

 

오랜 유학 생활을 마치고 신학교에 들어갈 때 가족이 생겼고 돈은 한 푼도 없었습니다. 일본 정부와 대학에서 많은 혜택을 받아 공부했던 저로서는 4년간 지불해야 하는 신학교 학비는 현실적으로 불가능한 금액이었습니다. 일은 할 수 없었고 가진 돈도 없었습니다. 신학교에서 저를 상담했던 직원은 제가 신학교에 들어올 수 있는 사람인지 아닌지 믿음을 체크한 후에 재정 상황을 체크했습니다. 저는 그것이 같은 것이라고 생각했는데 따로 물었습니다. 믿음은 있는 것 같은데 돈은 없는 것 같으니 학비에 대해서 믿음을 강조하지 말고 합격할 것을 대비해서 학비를 잘 준비하라고 했습니다. 주위에서도 걱정을 많이 했습니다. 그러나 저는 지금이 아니면 믿음을 살 수 있는 기회는 없다고 선언했습니다.

 

그때나 지금이나 같은 생각을 가지고 있습니다. 내가 가면 내가 준비해야 하고 하나님이 부르시면 하나님이 준비하신다. 저는 4년간 오늘 본문에 나오는 오병이어를 먹고 살았습니다. 매일 아침 하나님이 주시는 만나를 먹고 살았습니다. 어디서 왔는지 모르겠지만 학비와 생활비는 주어졌습니다. 겨우겨우 살지도 않았습니다. 오히려 어려운 신학생을 도왔고 재정으로도 교회를 힘껏 섬겼고 개인적으로 선교사도 후원했습니다. 하나님의 일은 가진 것을 쪼개서 하는 것이 아니고 하나님의 일에 드리면 그것으로 다시 주어지는 것으로 합니다. 하나님이 주체이시기 때문입니다. 그것이 오병이어의 기적입니다. 그러고 보면 전도자의 삶과 오병이어의 기적은 서로 다른 주제가 아닌가 봅니다.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzRH2dnSV1s

 

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